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Posted on: June 21, 2022
WI 977 | Private Money


The expert Jay Conner joins Brent Bowers today. He’s the leading authority on finding private money. The gentleman has raised over $8 million, and he has 44 different lenders, and he teaches people how to do it. This episode dives straight into the creative money side of wholesaling.


Key Takeaways

  •     The easiest way to get your first deal and the fast track to your second deal
  •     Why the whole world of private money came about as a matter of necessity
  •     Jay’s simple process for starting the conversation about money to close deals


Download Jay’s guide: JayConner.com/MoneyGuide


Make sure you connect with Brent to get started! WholesalingInc.com/Land

Easy Ways To Finding Private Money Ft. Jay Conner

The expert Jay Conner joins Brent Bowers today. He’s the leading authority on finding private money. The gentleman has raised over $8 million, and he has 44 different lenders, and he teaches people how to do it. This episode dives straight into the…

Episode Transcription

I have the greatest opportunity to interview a celebrity. I met this gentleman a couple of years ago in a huge auditorium in North Carolina. I saw him speak and was amazed by how powerful his words were hitting me at the time. At that time in my life, I had missed out on a major real estate deal. It was a big land purchase that I did not have the money to buy. I was not allowed to get it under contract because the seller did not want to deal with a wholesaler on it. He wanted a buyer.

I heard Jay speak and I let the cat out of the bag. His name is Jay Conner. He is a leading authority on finding private money. The gentleman has raised over $8 million and has 44 different lenders. He teaches people how to do it. You’re going to get things like how to find people with self-directed IRAs and how to educate them. He’s got a very special, unique way of doing it to where you’re not begging for the money, pitching deals or sounding desperate. You’re educating. Here we go. Let’s jump right into it.

I got Mr. Jay Conner himself. We’ve got a celebrity on the show. Mr. Jay Conner has been buying and selling houses since 2003 in a population of only 40,000 people. His profits average around $67,000 per deal. He has rehabbed over 300 houses. He has been involved in $52 million worth of transactions. For the past couple of years, Jay has automated his 7-figure income business to where he only works in his business about 10 hours per week.

He has consulted over 2,000 real estate investors one-on-one. He has raised over $2 million in 90 days since the banks cut him off years ago. He’s a commercial developer. He’s a national speaker on topics of private money, automation and foreclosure, which we might be seeing some of these. We are already seeing a lot more happening than in the last couple of years. He’s a bestselling author of Where to Get the Money Now. Read until the end. He’s going to show you a way to get it for free. He’s a past President of Business Networking International. He and his wife, Carol Joy, reside in Morehead City, North Carolina. Welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for inviting me to come along and join you here on the show. I love the Wholesaling Inc Rhino Tribe. I was blessed to speak at the annual convention you had a couple of years ago. I love talking about private money. I think about all those Wholesaling Inc tribe members. The beautiful thing about private money is when you got private money burning a hole in your pocket and I’m not talking hard money, you get to pick and choose the deals that you want to stay in and wholesale the rest. I’m so excited to be here with you.

It sounds like you get more options when you have almost an unlimited spending account at your disposal to buy deals. I’m sure you’re not out there buying stuff at retail. That’s my first question. How does it feel? What is it like to know that you pretty much have an unlimited spending account to go out and buy real estate deals?

I experienced the same thing that my new students experienced and that is private money. First of all, it’s the quickest way to get your first deal because you don’t have to worry about not being able to close on it or find a buyer for it once you get a seller on the contract. Let’s talk about confidence. What I have experienced and all my students experienced is when you got $500,000 or more burning a hole in your pocket, how much more confident are you going to be making offers?

How many more offers are you going to make because you’ve got the power to close that deal regardless of whatever objection the seller may have when it comes to closing? We close our deals in seven days. That’s so important to some motivated sellers. To answer your question about how I feel by having a lot of private money ready to go, I feel confident and excited.

I noticed the word confidence mentioned multiple times. A lot of times, when we’re starting, we pray to God for confidence. That’s ultimately one of the biggest things we need in this real estate business. I build my confidence consistently, whether it’s me going to a different market or finding a different lender or my mother-in-law says I’ve got another $45,000 to lend to. It also helps you with the confidence too in sending out the mail and the marketing and getting the signs out. It doesn’t even have to be a tremendous amount of hard money.

The very first thing you want to do to start attracting private money is to own the real estate that exists between your ears.

We all get scared when we hear about hard money. I think of doing a hard time if I don’t pay it back. That has always been my stereotype of hard money but when I hear private money, I think of Bob and Sue down the street or my in-laws, with whom we’ve done deals together. I love that. It doesn’t have to be a tremendous amount of private lending. It could be enough to do one deal. It’s amazing.

I learned this from your book, Where to Get the Money Now. People want to jump on moving trains. When Sue and Bob start investing, John and Sally are going to hear about it because guess who’s going to talk about Sue and Bob getting this fat check of interest they earned? Who are they going to tell about it? We tell our loved ones and friends because we want to celebrate with the people we love the most. Is that true in your case?

Yes. When I first started doing business where they knew private lenders, they can’t keep their mouths shut. They got to tell everybody else the kind of returns that they’ve got going on. I haven’t even taught my private lending program to new potential private lenders in probably 3 or 4 years because I have so many referrals coming my way.

You may find this interesting. I mentioned the word teach. I want to hang out on that for a moment. For you that are reading this, let me tell you something. I have never asked anybody for money. I have never tried to talk anybody into a deal to fund it. I’ve never pitched a deal. People ask me all the time, “How in the world do you have $8 million to $9 million of private money at your disposal all the time to make offers of all cash?” I say, “It’s simple. The way I have gotten all this money for funding without asking for money is I put on my teacher hat.” Write that down. Put on your teacher hat.

Teach people that you have some connection or relationship with what private money is and how they can get high rates of return safely and securely. Most people that you talk to about private money never heard of private money or self-directed IRAs. You need to have a relationship established with a self-directed IRA company and here’s why. My wife, Carol Joy and I have got 44 private lenders funding our deals. Over half of them are using their retirement funds to fund our deals. If we didn’t already have a relationship with a self-directed IRA company, we wouldn’t have anybody to refer those folks.

One question I get all the time is, “What is the best way to start attracting private money?” For you that are reading this, the very first thing you want to do to start attracting private money is to own the real estate that exists between your ears. Get your head screwed on right. This is not chasing begging or selling. This is about serving and teaching. You need to know what your private lending program is. I’m going to offer you at the end of this show the brand-new money guide that I finished writing for free. It gets you on the fast track to private money and it shows you what that program is.

The beautiful thing about this world is you make the rules. When I was borrowing money from the banks, who made the rules? The banks made the rules. They told me the interest rate and the frequency of payments. They told me how much they were going to advance, purchase and how much money I had to come up with at closing. In this world of private money, you don’t have to bring any money to the closing table. I always get a big check when I buy a house. Who in the world doesn’t want to get paid to buy houses? I have a check for $29,000 that I brought home all funded with private money. I didn’t take any of my money to the closing table.

WI 977 | Private Money

That was going to be one of the questions because I learned this from your book, Where to Get the Money Now. I wanted to ask you but I don’t want you to answer it yet because I want to know how you started. A lot of people cannot comprehend having $8 million to $9 million available in private lending or 44 different private lendings.

We’re going to do this a little differently than most but I almost want to rewind a little bit and see how you started with this. Before I jump to that, I want to finish the sentence I was saying. You talk about in your book getting paid three different times on each piece of real estate you buy and that’s pretty phenomenal. If you don’t mind, let’s first start with how in the world did you create all this.

I can tell you how I did not create it. I did not wake up one morning and go, “I’ll go raise some private money.” This whole world of private money came about as a matter of necessity. Here’s exactly what happened. It was in January of 2009. I was sitting right at my desk. I remember it like it was yesterday. From 2003 to 2009, I relied on the local banks and mortgage companies. That’s all I knew about funding my deals.

I call up my banker. His name was Steve. I had this conversation with Steve many times for six years. Here’s how the conversation went. After a little chit-chat, I said, “I got two houses under contract.” Bear in mind that these two houses represented $100,000 in profit and equity. I told Steve where the homes were located in the community. I told him the after-repaired value, the funding required for the deal and how I wanted to close in 30 days. I couldn’t close in seven days back then like I can now with private money.

Steve went quiet on the phone, which is never a good sign when your banker or significant other shuts up and doesn’t talk. I’m going, “Are you there?” Steve finally said something. He said, “I’m so sorry to tell you. The bank has closed your lines of credit at the bank.” I thought to myself, “I heard that but I’m not sure I heard that.” I said, “What are you talking about that you closed my lines of credit at the bank?” He says, “The bank is not loaning money out to real estate investors anymore.” I was not the lone ranger. Every other real estate investor had been cut off.

I hung up the phone and created my new mantra for 2009. My new mantra was that it is impossible to fail unless I choose to quit. I can’t fail. Quitting was not an option for me so what did I do? I propelled and took action. I picked up the same telephone receiver and called my buddy, Jeff, who lived in Greensboro, North Carolina at the time. He was a real estate investor. I told him what had happened. I said, “What are we going to do?” The first thing he said to me was, “Welcome to the club.”

I said, “What club is that?” He said, “The club of losing your lines of credit at the bank. They cut me off.” I said, “What are we going to do?” He says, “I’ve started using private money.” I said, “What’s private money?” I didn’t know. He says, “I started introducing my new private lenders to self-directed IRA companies.” I said, “What are self-directed IRA companies?” I put my learning hat on immediately. I started learning very quickly what private money is and how it’s not hard money, how it works, what the categories of finding it are and how I can locate them.

The beautiful thing about the private money world is you make the rules.

I’ve put together sixteen-minute audio called Stress-free Investing because I didn’t want to go running around town, calling up people and sounding desperate like, “I got these deals under contract. If you don’t fund my deal, I’m going lose my deal.” I didn’t tell anybody about these deals I had on a contract. I simply started teaching my private lending program. What’s my program? My program is, what interest rate am I going to pay them? What’s the maximum I’m going to borrow? How can they get their money back in less than 90 days in case of an emergency? What’s the frequency of payments I want to pay them? I let them choose that. The money guide that I’m going to give everybody goes into all that detail.

You taught them everything you knew they would ask or maybe think about. You talked about everything that they would want to know and answered their questions in advance.

Don’t forget the framework and mindset. I am serving these people. I am teaching them something that they’ve never heard before. I go to the rotary club. They’re always looking for speakers. I give a twenty-minute presentation on what self-directed IRAs are and how you can invest in real estate with self-directed IRAs. At the end of my presentation, I talked about, “If you don’t want to be a real estate investor and you want to be passive, sit back and collect monthly checks with no work, then I got a way for you to do that too. That’s called private money and private lending.” I give them my sixteen-minute audio. It’s all about positioning.

That’s truly passive income because we all want to sit around, do nothing and make money. Who doesn’t?

This deal is serving people and teaching them. In this world of private money, your credit check or credit score has got nothing to do with how much money you can get because it’s a collateral-based loan. You’re a verification of money. Verification of income has nothing to do with it. There is no application process. You are already approved.

What if I don’t know anybody? What if I haven’t done any real estate or I’m getting started? I have all these fears that are probably not true. How does that person get started?

I hear that question all the time. The question that you’re referring to is, “Who in the world is going to loan me money? I’ve never done a deal or done private money.” Here’s why they’re going to do it. If you don’t pay them, the property does. We’re not borrowing unsecured funds or money. We are collateralizing their note by the real estate that we’re buying. This works for single-family houses and commercial deals. To you that’s reading, are you interested in some small apartments, duplexes, triplexes or quadplexes along with your single-family houses? It’s all the same money. It comes down to knowing your program.

WI 977 | Private Money

Private Money: The beautiful thing about private money is when you have private money burning a hole in your pocket, you get to pick and choose the deals that you want to stay in and wholesale the rest.


The other part of the question that you asked is, “I don’t know anybody that’s going to lend me money.” Here’s the deal. Don’t rule out anybody. I’ve got a five-step process that my private money guide will go over for you. I got a five-step process on how to quickly locate private money without trying to talk anybody into doing a deal with you and without asking for money.

The first step is to make your list. Where are you going to make your lists from? It’s your cellphone. If there are people on your cellphone, they are either potential private lenders or they know somebody that’s a potential private lender. You’ve got your list. Here’s the list I like to start with. We call this mom-and-pop money or relationship money. The people I like to start with are people that are retired because there is a good chance that people that are retired have retirement funds.

One of my favorite questions to ask a new potential private lender is, “Did you know there’s a way that you can make unlimited money and returns per year using your retirement funds penalty-free and at least tax-deferred, if not tax-free?” When you ask somebody that question, I promise you, you got their attention because they never heard of a way that they can make at least tax-deferred, if not tax-free income by using their retirement funds. My wife, Carol Joy and I have got a private lender that in 1 year made $65,000 from us tax-free. Here’s another actual item. Get educated about self-directed IRAs. Brent and I will be glad to plug you into one. In my self-directed IRA funding deals, I get my deals funded in three days.

I do a lot of land deals with private money. I have a partner that isn’t a lender but he partnered with me on many properties. He used his self-directed IRA.

One thing I also hear is sometimes, people that want to use private money will say, “All my people are broke. My people don’t have any money.” First of all, I don’t believe them. What I hear them say is, “I would be intimidated to ask anybody for money to fund my deals.” There’s the mistake. You’re not asking anybody for money. You’re teaching people what private money is and how they can make insane high rates of return safely and securely. We’re not chasing.

I’ve never pitched a deal in my life. Here’s the deal. The money comes first. Let me explain that. You’ve heard some people teach what I’m getting ready to say. I have no disrespect. I just want to speak from my experience. Some of my friends out there will teach, “Go get the deal under contract. The money will show up and come.” Is the money going to rain out of the clouds? I teach that money comes first. Teach your private money program. Have a few hundred thousand dollars lined up. I can show you easily how to get at least $500,000 in private money, burning a hole in your pocket in less than 30 days.

My wheels are turning here. You even talk about this in your book. I’m looking out my window. I have 2 or maybe 3 neighbors that connect to my property. They’re doctors. They probably need to know about all this. I’m like, “Let me have a barbecue and educate them while we’re doing it.”

Do not teach your private lending program and pitch a deal in the same conversation. You just sounded desperate without meaning to sound desperate.

I teach that money comes first. You’ve got the money lined up. Here’s a big lesson. I want you to take note of this. Don’t make this mistake that I did when I started. You’ve taught your private lending program. You don’t have to ask them for money. By the end of teaching the private lending program, use my PowerPoint. It takes you twenty minutes to walk through it at the most.

At the end of it, they’re going to be saying, “What do I do? Do I write you a check?” They’re not going to write you a check because all their money is going to be sent to your closing agent so they are protected. Do not make this mistake. Do not teach your private lending program and pitch a deal in the same conversation. You just sounded desperate without meaning to sound desperate.

Do you know what money does not like? It is desperate people. When you met Carol Joy, I bet you she would not have been attracted to you if you were desperate. It’s the same thing with relationships and people. You want to pet the dog that doesn’t want to have anything to do with you but when you turn your back on the dog, the dog wants you to pet them. You cannot be desperate.

Another way of saying what you said was that the more I chase money, the more it alludes to me. That’s why we’re attracting. I teach that money comes first. You have a private lender. They love your program. They ask, “What do we do next?” Say, “The next thing we do is I will go find a deal for you and me to do together.” You better do it fast because that private money will disappear.

Here’s the lesson. You got a deal. You already know how much money they got, whether it’s liquid or retirement money. When you call them up, the most stupid question in the world you could ask them is, “Do you want the fund this deal?” They want to fund the deal. They’d been waiting for you to call them. You’re not going to bring them a deal that doesn’t fit the criteria of your private lending program.

Here’s the script. Write it down. Here’s exactly what you say to your private lender when you got a deal, particularly your first deal. I call them up and have a little chit-chat. The first thing I tell them is, “I’ve got great news for you.” The second thing I tell them is, “I can now put your money to work for you.” I then tell them four pieces of information about the deal that they are going to fund. I have no doubt they’re going to fund the deal.

Here’s the information. The first thing I tell them is where the home or the property is located. They could care less about physical address. Is it in Newport? Is it in Beaufort? Is it in Atlantic Beach? Is it in Havelock? The second thing I tell them is the after-repaired value. I don’t tell them the purchase price because they could care less. I want to show them how they’re protected because I’m typically not going to borrow more than 75% of the after repaired value. The second piece of information is the after-repair value.

WI 977 | Private Money

Private Money: Private money is the quickest way to get your first deal because you don’t have to worry about not being able to close on it or find a buyer once you get a seller on the contract.


The third piece of information that I give them is the amount of money required to fund the deal. I know they’ve got the amount of money. They already told me because they love the program. The fourth piece of information I give them is the closing date. Here’s the simple conversation. Let’s say you’re one of my new private lenders. I call you up and get you on the phone. Play with me. I’d be like, “This is Jay. How’s your day going?”

It’s going well. I’ve been waiting for you to call.

There you go. I’d be like, “I have got some amazing news for you. I can now put your money to work for you. I have a home over in Newport. The after-repaired value is $200,000. The funding required is only $150,000 and closing is scheduled for next Thursday so I’ll need you to get your funds wired to my closing attorney next Thursday.” That’s the end of the conversation. The more I talk, the more confused they get so I want to keep it simple. When Brent’s going to fund my 2nd, 3rd or 4th deal, Brent could care less about those 4 pieces of information. The only thing Brent wants to know is how much and when.

I love that you broke it down in that script because I feel like when a lot of people are starting, they want to tell you where it’s at and what it needs. They’re like, “It needs all this paint. It’s a vacant piece of land. I’m going to do this, that and the other.” It’s like, “Will you please get to the point?

You’re already sounding desperate. They don’t want to know all that stuff. They just want to know they’re going to get a high rate of return safely and securely and they are protected.

You talked about an amazing resource that you provide. Let’s talk about it because I’m excited about this new book.

The title of it is 7 Reasons Why Private Money will Skyrocket Your Real Estate Investing Business and Help You Build Incredible Wealth. This will get you on the fast track to private money. Here’s how you can download it for free. You don’t even have to wait to get it mailed to you. Go to www.JayConner/MoneyGuide. That’s it.

When you’ve got private money, 100% of the deals that you’ve got under contract can close.

I don’t care if you’re a seasoned wholesaler. It doesn’t matter if you’re brand new. If you are a wholesaler, if you have experienced the pain of wanting to stay in a deal and not assign it out and see somebody else make all that profit instead of your assignment fee, this is the key. You get to pick and choose which deals you want to stay in and make the big profits and which ones you want to pass on and collect your assignment fee. It puts you in the driver’s seat of your company to where you’re running it. You make the choices. It’s not running you.

There are so many more options when you have private lending available to you. That’s powerful. I couldn’t have said it better myself. That’s incredible. Jay had to come up with this out of sheer desperation. In January 2009, he was cut off from his banks. In a few short years, he has already raised $9 million and 44 different private lenders. Don’t let that scare you. It only takes one.

Start with 1 or 2.

We’re working on a land deal. We called up a bunch of people on our cash buyers list that we built as wholesalers for our land and houses. A realtor on there directed us to another guy that had a huge fund. Long story short, he has got several million dollars to lend. It’s amazing. Sometimes, it’s just the referral of somebody else. It only takes one. I’m about halfway there. Thank you so much for sharing. Do you have any final words for the audience? You have so many golden nuggets. I’ll leave it to you.

From my experience, comparing buying cash to buying properties on terms, I hear it all the time and I’ve got the statistics to back it up. After looking at thousands of property lead sheets, only 13% of FSBOs will sell to me on terms. The other 87% require all the cash. Here’s the real world. We know it. The majority of the sellers require all the cash so you’re not going to miss out on the deals for not having the funding.

Here’s another beautiful thing. If you’re a wholesaler, let me ask you a question. Has what I’m getting ready to say ever happened to you? Have you gotten a deal under a contract that you put out to your buyer’s list and for whatever reason, the deal didn’t close? Did anybody ever experience that? When you’ve got private money, 100% of the deals that you’ve got under contract can close.

If your buyer’s list goes belly up on you or you got a buyer that says, “I’ll close that deal,” and three days before closing, they disappear on you and you’re like, “Where’s my buyer that’s going take this deal down,” you can take it down if you want to because you’ve got the cash. Talk about the private money puts you in, you got the power.

You have so much confidence and power. If you know someone that needs to read this, share this episode with a friend, a family member or that guy that’s wholesaling all of these houses. I’m looking back at some of the stuff I’ve wholesaled in the past. Seeing what flippers have made and what I’ve sold, I could’ve kept it with private money. There are so many more options. If you’re looking at getting started in real estate and maybe you’re interested in land or this show, head on over to WholesalingInc.com/Land. Don’t forget about Jay’s offer.

Download it for free. It’s jam-packed with information to get you on the fast track to private money. You can download it at www.JayConner/MoneyGuide.

I hope you enjoyed it. God bless you. Thank you so much for jumping on with us, Jay.

God bless you, Brent. I hope to see you soon.


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About Brent Bowers

WI 895 | Land InvestingBrent Bowers, is an investor and coach with a focus on buying and selling vacant land. As an Army Officer with over 8 years of service, Brent was spending a great deal of time away from his family, and he knew he needed to make some changes in order to be more present with his wife and children. In a short period of time, Brent was able to expand his business, hire a team, and (most importantly) spend quality time with his family while still working hard and helping others.

While Brent invests in many different types of real estate, his favorite investment strategy deals with buying and selling vacant land, and he enjoys sharing his expertise in this area with his coaching clients. Brent chooses to live his life based on Bob Burg’s quote, “Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.” He is passionate about helping other people find success in real estate investing, particularly inland investments












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